| one; an entry on existentialism |
[May 15] |
How odd. To just...be. To come from a clashing of particles in the sky. There was no enchanting couple. No passion. No love. I just am. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a family. Parents. Siblings. And I cannot wrap my mind around it. I can understand how to manipulate just about any substance on earth and yet I cannot comprehend even the simplest of emotions or concepts. What is love? Surely I would know. Wouldn't I?
I've found that whenever I am around Gabrielle I experience...odd feelings. Mostly its my stomach flopping around inside my body, but others as well. A warmth in my chest. Almost...anxiety when I speak with her at times. Is this what it is to be human? What I would give to experience these simple things that humans seem to...detest! I hear of it all the time at the pub. Late at night. How much they abhor love and women and life and family. They should be rejoicing shouldn't they? I have none of this! I have no love. No lover. No family. And certainly no concept of mortality. At least until I am nearing five hundred, which is a long time from now.
I want to hit them over the head! To shake them and look them in the eyes and tell them they do not realise how so very lucky they are! A wise man once told me, "Death is the mother of Beauty." This is surely true for humans! For you cannot fully appreciate something if you will be around for all eternity, right? If you were like me you would take everything for granted. You would not stop to watch the sun rise over purple hills or tell your family that you love them so very much every morning before you leave.
I...forgive me. It is late and I have reading to do. How very torturous it is to not be able to sleep.
|
|
|